Eavesdrop Diner

Idea: A chain of restaurants where every table is live-streamed on the Internet to allow people watching at home to eavesdrop on their conversations, pay for their food and/or drinks, give them likes, chat/gossip with other eavesdroppers who're watching the same table, and (in some cases) send messages to interact with the people eating at the restaurant. Also: watching first dates, anniversary dinners, arguments, and break-ups; acting fake or fetishy for the camera; a coaster or tracker to allow the camera to follow you around while you do activities (like play pool) in the restaurant; an "event wheel" for eavesdroppers to spin to cause events in the restaurant (for example, to cause a waitress to spill the drinks)

Carl Sobel (Facebook: Comedy Night at River City Saloon Twitter: @carl_sobel)
Parker Hammon (Twitter: @parker_hammon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Retail Worker F You Card

Idea: A card given to retail workers once a year, where if the retail worker gives the card to a rude customer, they can insult, yell at, curse at, and/or humiliate the customer for 30 seconds without consequence (i.e. without getting fired). Also: tracking rude customers who receive "F You Cards" in a government database (i.e. the Chinese "social credit score" but made fun); a rude customer repeatedly receiving "F You Cards" who lashes out against society and becomes the Joker; staging extremely elaborate "F You Card" incidents to try to go viral on the Internet; giving your "F You Card" to the same rude customer 15 years in a row

Carl Sobel (Facebook: Comedy Night at River City Saloon Twitter: @carl_sobel)
Parker Hammon (Twitter: @parker_hammon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Build-A-Mattress Workshop

Idea: A workshop similar to Build-A-Bear but where you build a mattress. The mattress would be super-customized with different combinations of materials (feathers, springs, memory foam, etc.), different firmness settings, etc. Also: you could test it for comfort as you build it; you could make it a "smart mattress" containing electronics and software, which could get a virus and make it impossible to fall asleep or fold in half and kill you

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Street Light Deer Spotlights

Idea: For street light poles to have LIDAR sensors and to use AI (artificial intelligence) to detect deer in the dark and then shine a spotlight on the deer to help drivers see them and thus avoid hitting them. The AI would prevent falsely detecting deer and erroneously turning on the spotlight all the time, unlike crappy motion lights for your house which turn on all the time when the wind blows leaves in nearby trees. Also: if it can detect deer and then turn on (and aim) a spotlight, it could also detect cars and pedestrians and only turn on the normal (stationary) street light if someone is there; to get rid of most of the street signs because drivers can use navigation apps instead; to use spotlights (which are either mounted on street light poles or are being flown by drones) to light the area in front of cars so we no longer have to rely on other drivers to dim their "brights" to not be temporarily blinded as they drive by

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Phone Glasses Detection and Text Size Adjustment

Idea: An app or setting for your smart phone to detect whether you're wearing glasses and adjust the text size accordingly, so you don't have to manually go to settings to increase the text size to read the phone in bed at night after taking off your glasses, and then manually decrease the text size back to normal in the morning. Also: a screen-magnifying phone-charging stand similar to the Nintendo Game Boy "Light Boy Magnifier"; prescription goggles which won't break if you wear them overnight but might trick you into thinking you're underwater and cause you to pee the bed; taking advantage of your privilege to use an old inactivated phone over WiFi as a "night phone"

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Keyboard Cat Blocker

Idea: A device which disables or blocks your keyboard if your cat's gonna sit on it, so it doesn't press random keys and mess up your work or whatever you're doing on the computer. Also: a decoy keyboard; a cat suit made of keyboards to make a keyboard-cat-keyboard sandwich; a keyboard which uses cucumbers or tin foil to scare the cat; if a cat lays on a keyboard, does the cat hair clean the chunks of food out of the keyboard, or does it just make the keyboard dirtier?

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Talking Golf Ball

Idea: A golf ball with a speaker inside to play programmable messages to help you find the ball if you lose it, to yell "fore" if it's gonna hit someone, to allow your golf buddies to program your ball to taunt you if you shoot a bad shot, to make animal noises to scare other people away from your ball or to get animals to move your ball closer to the hole, etc. Also: a multispecies golf relay; a golf ball that makes you listen to commercials before you tee off and which vibrates to mess up your shot if you try to skip the commercials; a really, really, really long headphone cord for the "hard of hearing"

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Stairbags

Idea: A service that uses artificial intelligence to detect if you're falling down the stairs and quickly deploy a safety mechanism to minimize your injuries, such as inflatable bags that shoot forward out of the vertical portion of each stair ("stairbags"), walls that swing out to block your way before you gain momentum, or stairs that turn into a slip-n-slide with a soft landing of some sort at the bottom of the stairwell. Also: using a vat of pudding or food at the bottom of the stairs, so if you're injured and you can't get up, you can survive on the food for days or weeks; safety concerns about using a vat of alcohol at the bottom of the stairs; using slip-n-slide stairs as a security mechanism to keep burglars from going up the stairs and (optionally) to impale them at the bottom of the stairs

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Possum Pack Rental

Idea: Possums that you can rent to eat all of the ticks in your yard. Also: possums that eat ticks can absorb lyme disease without re-transmitting it; a possum's dead horse smorgasboard; sisterhood of the possum-loving local comics

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Safety Nunchucks

Idea: To put artificial intelligence inside nunchucks that can detect if the nunchuck is about to (accidentally) hit you in the face, and if so, to inflate a small, "swim floatie"-sized airbag contained in the nunchuck to soften the blow before it hits you in the face. Also: the word "foe"; getting hit in the face with a car's airbag during a car crash; chafed nipples from swimming with inner tubes

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Time-Release Caffeine Pills

Idea: A caffeine pill that you take before going to bed at night which kicks in and wakes you up at a specific time in the morning, so you don't have to fight against your tiredness to get up and make coffee in the morning. Also: are classic sleeping pranks real or myth?; a robot which throws a cold, wet washcloth on your face to wake you up; a revelation that requiring stimulants or gadgets to wake up could be a warning sign that you should lead a healthier lifestyle

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Evil Genie Dream Machine

Idea: A sci-fi machine to allow an external signal (such as a computer program or someone else's mind) to control your dreams. However, the dream machine is buggy, so it causes you to get out of bed and do stuff while you're still asleep which is similar to your dream, but slightly different in an evil or humiliating way. Examples: dreaming of sleeping with Wonder Woman and then waking up with an obese neighbor wearing a Wonder Woman T-shirt; dreaming of eating at a fancy restaurant and then waking up with a full stomach but with the cops at your door to arrest you for stealing silverware from a restaurant and for not paying your bill

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

ANNOUNCEMENT OF EPISODE SPLIT, TeslaBot Household Usage Ideas

ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm splitting up the audio files of the first 88 podcast episodes by idea, so if you subscribe to the podcast using an app which downloads audio files (as opposed to streaming them), you might want to make sure that your podcast app doesn't download all of the new audio files of the first 88 episodes at the same time and fill up your phone

Also: Ideas on how to use a TeslaBot in your house, including taking care of your pets when you go on vacation, adjusting your bed covers or turning on/off a fan to help you sleep, doing laundry using a washboard and a bucket, attaching metal bars to your windows every night, doing your makeup in a moving car, gathering water from a hand-pump water well or a stream and emptying your compost toilet (so you don't need plumbing), etc.

Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Priority Text

Idea: A service which uses surveillance, state-of-the-art artificial intelligence (AI), and data from miscellaneous sources such as health trackers to monitor a loved one (usually an elderly parent) and provide you with enough data (via text) for you to know whether or not to worry about them. For example, if they send you a vague or ominous text message (such as "we need to talk"), the AI would figure out if the message is urgent (i.e. high priority), and color-code the message based on how urgent it is and/or delay notifying you that you received a non-urgent message if you're busy. It could also text you periodic health reports and/or risk reports (sorted from highest to lowest priority) and recommend actions to prevent emergencies from happening (for example, if it sees that your mom stumbled on a loose nail on a stair, it can understand that the loose nail is a hazard and recommend that you fix it before she trips and falls)

Thomas Stineman (Facebook: @thomas.z.stineman)
Justin Siekierka (Comedy Shows: Liberty-Street-Brewing-Co Rusted Crow Canton Village Theater)
Tom Walma (Web: creativitywasted.com Twitter: @thomaswalma)
Felicity Blue (Twitter: @FelFelBlue)

Dino-Sores

Idea: A medication that doesn't cure cold sores, genital herpes sores, or other bodily sores, and instead changes the shape of the sores to look like your favorite dinosaur. Also: this would take away your ability to lie and falsely claim that a cold sore is a pimple; Pokemon-themed sores (you've gotta catch 'em all); the possibility of revenge from the tattoo industry; dino-sore medication side effects during pregnancy and an alternative origin story for Jurassic Park

Thomas Stineman (Facebook: @thomas.z.stineman)
Justin Siekierka (Comedy Shows: Liberty-Street-Brewing-Co Rusted Crow Canton Village Theater)
Tom Walma (Web: creativitywasted.com Twitter: @thomaswalma)
Felicity Blue (Twitter: @FelFelBlue)

Skool

Idea: A K-12 school system based on the principles of cryptocurrency, such as blockchain and smart contracts, for the purposes of 1) reducing corruption (because things like test scores would be visible on the blockchain and things like grading systems and reward systems would be pre-defined and visible on smart contracts), 2) eliminating unnecessary middlemen (such as school administrators), 3) enabling innovative parent-student-community participation (such as voting on which classes and extra-curricular activities are available), 4) enabling innovative incentives for students to learn (such as skipping class if you did well on a test, teachers blocking access to kid's streaming video games at home until they do their homework), and 5) familiarizing students with the principles of cryptocurrency to help them prepare for the future economy. Also: blockchain and the danger of "big brother" and social currency scores; an example of a school unfairly changing the rules in the middle of a contest (which could have been prevented by "smart contracts")

Thomas Stineman (Facebook: @thomas.z.stineman)
Justin Siekierka (Comedy Shows: Liberty-Street-Brewing-Co Rusted Crow Canton Village Theater)
Tom Walma (Web: creativitywasted.com Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Diners, Drive-Ins, and Deliveries

Idea: A TV show about food where you can order the food being showcased on the show and have it quickly delivered to your door, ideally by the time the show ends. Also: people feeding you grapes like you're a king; futuristic food delivery ideas such as pneumatic tubes, drones that both deliver and cook the food, military MRE-style self-cooking food packets, and 3D food printing; do you trust computer tacos?; YouTuber Mr. Beast's "Mr. Beast Burger", ghost kitchens, and how he could add a new item to the food menu on the same day that he showcases it on a YouTube video

Nick Pizzuti (Facebook: @nick.pizzuti.73)
Chris Young (Web: chrisyoungcomic.com Comedy Special Video: Buoyant Mon)
Bryan Harrison (Podcast: @MoistDefinitelyPodcast)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Futuristic Mobile Grocery Storage System

Idea: Large wheelable storage containers which store your groceries while you shop in the grocery store (instead of grocery carts), in your car while you transport the groceries (instead of grocery bags), and in your house (the grocery containers would be embedded within your pantry or kitchen island or fridge/freezer so you don't have to "unpack" groceries when you get home). The grocery storage containers could maybe have some sort of gurney-style lifting mechanism to help you put them in your car. Robots could maybe wheel them out of your house so grocery deliveries could be placed directly into them, instead of the delivered groceries sitting outside in disposable boxes and thermal bags. Futuristic grocery stores which don't have checkouts and that bill you automatically when you exit the store could also detect if your grocery storage containers had food in them when you ENTER the store, so you wouldn't have to empty the grocery storage containers before you go to the store. The grocery stores could allow you to place some foods directly into your personal Tupperware-style containers, thus reducing or eliminating the need for food packaging on the grocery store shelves

Nick Pizzuti (Facebook: @nick.pizzuti.73)
Chris Young (Web: chrisyoungcomic.com Comedy Special Video: Buoyant Mon)
Bryan Harrison (Podcast: @MoistDefinitelyPodcast)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Podcast Studio On-The-Go

Idea: To put podcast recording gear in a van and rent out recording time to other podcasters, and to drive the van to where they want to record. Also: the creepiness factor of telling a stranger to step into your van and maybe putting a boot on the tire of the van during the recording so they trust you not to kidnap them; renting out the van for other activities; putting a cheesy logo on the van and then embarrassing your kids by driving them to school in it; the "Chris Farley dream" (to live in a van down by the river)

Nick Pizzuti (Facebook: @nick.pizzuti.73)
Chris Young (Web: chrisyoungcomic.com Comedy Special Video: Buoyant Mon)
Bryan Harrison (Podcast: @MoistDefinitelyPodcast)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Mosquito-Killing Fireworks

Idea: To put chemicals in the smoke of fireworks to repel or kill mosquitos, similar to the chemicals currently used in mosquito foggers/sprayers. The chemicals in existing fireworks are probably somewhat poisonous, so if you're gonna do poison, you might as well get something out of it. Also: the "come to Jesus" moment for mosquitos; the risk that dead mosquitos falling from the sky could attract bats or spiders; a pro tip for lighting M-80 fireworks

Nick Pizzuti (Facebook: @nick.pizzuti.73)
Chris Young (Web: chrisyoungcomic.com Comedy Special Video: Buoyant Mon)
Bryan Harrison (Podcast: @MoistDefinitelyPodcast)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)